On Last Wills and Testaments

One of the topics that I avoid discussing is about physical death. Having experienced the death of my father at a very tender age followed by a series of unfortunate events, fears, loneliness and trauma, and painful circumstances resulting from his demise; I will always look for means to evade or close any conversation leading to it. Last night was different as I (with so much uneasiness), my wife and two older children were able to open up in a healthy conversation in what to do when a family member passes away. Plans, details and desires were brought out and viewed with an open mind although I would admit I was not one hundred percent listening and being attentive to the things discussed. I envy one of the Old Testament characters of the Bible, who, inspite of all the trials, pains, and sufferings he encountered was able to say in all faith and honesty, "As for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, And at the last He will take His stand on the earth. Even after my skin is destroyed, yet from my flesh I shall see God; whom I myself shall behold, and whom my eyes will see and not another. My heart faints within me!" The selfish part of me who is very much afraid to be left alone is always longing for GOD to come back while my wife, my children, and myself are still alive. I pray to GOD that he would take years from my life and add it to the life of my wife or vice versa so that in life or in death I and my wife would always be together. Oh to have the maturity and boldness of the apostle Paul who was able to say, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." And also say, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; In the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing." GOD have mercy on me and forgive me of my selfish and fearful heart. Please let me realize that the best inheritance I can leave to my children is a healthy fear and reverence of you ("The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding"). That my children would believe and know you LORD JESUS CHRIST as personal Savior and Lord of their lives. I love you GOD only because you have loved me first. Reign in me and quiet my restless heart and assure me at all times that You will never leave me nor forsake me and that goes too for my wife and children too. Thank you very much for your love, mercies, and graces. In Your most Holy Name I pray. Amen!